


Donating Too Much Information

by GayStuffe



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Blood as in donating blood, Diana's kinda stupid, Donating blood, F/F, I swear, I'm making this out to sound like a really bad fic but akko just can't shut her goddamn mouth, Mentions of Bloodplay, Mentions of vampires, Needles, Oneshot, Potions, based off a true story (loosely), blood (but not like gore blood), does this count as kinkshaming?, hannah and barbara are dicks, is akko a vampire?, it's not all that bad, mentions of Coprophilia, mentions of bloodkinks, mentions of golden showers, mentions of sucking blood, plz dont let the tags decide whether or not ur gonna read, someone passes out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 15:07:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17603630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayStuffe/pseuds/GayStuffe
Summary: Akko attempts to donate blood for the first time. She ends up donating something else instead.





	Donating Too Much Information

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of what happened when I tried to donate blood for the first time. I kept blabbing to the nurse and I think I scared her off tbh

Akko was nervous. Very, very nervous. Like, pacing around on the phone with your mother nervous. Lotte had convinced her to donate blood for the first time at the annual Luna Nova blood drive. Akko hadn’t even attempted to convince Sucy into participating, not wanting some poor soul to be anywhere near Sucy’s blood.

“Be sure to eat the tofu I sent you before you donate, oh and drink a lot of water, I don’t want you passing out. And don’t forget to-” Akko hung up before her mother could finish reminding her about getting a good night's rest for the third time that day.  
___________________________________ 

“So just sign here and you’re all done. Your appointment is at 11:20 Friday, please remember to eat a healthy meal and drink lots of water beforehand.” Akko accepted the slip of paper pointed at her, scribbling her signature down before thanking the nurse and meeting up with Lotte and Sucy outside the office.

“Argh, that took so long. Why do they have to know about the last time I took Advil? And why were they asking about the last time I had “sexual relations”, I’ve never had my first kiss, much less sex.” Akko exclaimed with a blush before Lotte quickly hushed her. “Akko, that’s not something you’d want to proclaim, it’s kind of embarrassing.”

Akko made a sound behind the hand over her mouth before nodding in afirmination. 

“And it’s so they can make sure you don’t have STDs like HIV or AIDS.” Lotte continued. “Those are very serious diseases, so they have to ask you all sorts of questions to make sure people with STDs don’t infect others by giving blood.”

Akko nodded furiously, paying full attention to Lotte before knocking into a certain clumsy blue-haired professor. 

“Oh my apologies Akko, I didn’t see you there, I heard you signed up for the blood drive. I’m very proud of you. Please remember to eat a heal-” Professor Ursula was quickly interrupted by an annoyed Akko. 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. Eat healthy, drink water, sleep and all that. You’re the third person to tell me today. Now, I’m gonna go practice flying with Amanda, thanks Professor Ursula, I’ll see you in class!” Akko half yelled as she was running down the hallway.

“Akko! Please try not to run- oh nevermind she’s already gone.”  
_________________________________________

“Akko, c’mon, we’re gonna miss our appointments.” Lotte says with a huff, adjusting her glasses for the third time that morning. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming, lemme grab shiny rod.” Akko said, wildly grabbing around on her bed.

“Akko, you’re donating blood, not fighting some monster- oh and I have something for you.” Sucy says with her signature grin, beginning to reach into her potions cabinet. 

“For me?” Akko exclaims, not liking the sound of Sucy giving her anything. The last time Sucy had given Akko something, Akko had ended up in the infirmary for a good two hours without a tongue and a weird purple rash covering her entire body. 

“Yeah, I don’t want you passing out while you’re giving blood so last night I made you a “health” potion. Basically it just makes you super healthy for a few hours so you don’t pass out or anything.” Sucy held out the vial, managing to muster up a somewhat sincere smile. 

Akko accepted the vial suspiciously and gave it a shake, all while eyeing the weird shapes circling inside. 

“Okay!” Akko exclaims with a smile, downing the entire vial in one go before Lotte could even think to protest. Akko thought it tasted like what would happen if grape soda and potatoes had a love child. Which, she thought, was a weird way to put it, but then again, this is Sucy’s potion. 

“Tastes a little weird but other than that 10/10.” Akko says with a content smile, passing the bottle back to Sucy.

“Okay, now can we go?” Lotte says, tugging on Akko’s sleeve. “Sure, thanks for the health potion Sucy!” Akko yells walking out the door, tripping in the doorway before slamming the door behind them.

“Kek kek kek, I can’t wait til the truth is finally revealed.” Sucy says with a sinister snicker before returning to her work.  
__________________________________

“Akko? My it’s quite a surprise to see someone like you donating blood.” Hannah sneered. “Yeah, we figured you would be getting into more trouble than you already are.” Barbara added, both looking at Akko and Lotte with noses high.

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean? I can donate just like everybody else can! Why aren’t you two donating?” Akko retorts with a smug smile, feeling accomplished with the sassy remark.

“We’ve already donated,” Barbara said, “We’ve been here since before school started.” Hannah stated, both wearing haughty grins. 

“Do you two always finish each other's sentence-” Akko was cut off by one of the volunteers calling Lotte’s name for screening.

Lotte sent an apologetic look and a wave towards Akko before walking off towards the volunteer.

Great, Akko thought, I’m stuck alone with tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum.

“Excuse me?” Hannah exclaimed, “What did you just say about us?” Barbara added.

“I-I didn’t say anything,” Akko stuttered. 

“We just heard you. We have names by the way, not tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum.” Hannah proclaimed with her hands on her hips, sending a snooty look towards Akko. 

“B-but I said that in my head, not out loud.” Akko says with a confused face, her brain grasping for words.

“Well clearly not, please be seated at the waiting area, if you could do something right for once.” Hannah says with a harsh voice, putting a comforting arm around Barbara.

Akko makes her way over to the waiting area, but not before hearing Hannah consoling Barbara. “I’m not tweedle-dum am I?” Akko hears Barbara say in a wavering voice.

Akko took a seat at the waiting area, still snickering at what she had heard. She looked around, figuring she could use the time given to her advantage, Akko began to survey her surroundings. She could see Lotte being screened by the school nurse, and could even see Amanda giving blood in the far back. Akko didn’t think Amanda was the type to donate blood, but then again Akko had thought the same for herself. She unfortunately couldn’t see anybody else, besides Jasminka and Constanze serving refreshments for people who had just donated. Well, Jasminka and Stanbot really. Akko could only see the hands of the other screener working, so Akko tried stretching her neck to try to see who it was. In the end, Akko couldn’t see who it was, and decided it wasn’t important enough for her to dwell on.

“Miss Kagari? It’s time to be screened,” a nurse calls out, forcing Akko’s train of thought to derail. Akko stood, making her way over to the screening station only to stop dead in her tracks.

“D-diana? What are you doing here,” Akko exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger towards the blonde witch in question “are you even qualified to do this?”

Diana sighed, pressing her fingers to the bridge of her nose in irritation. “Of course I’m qualified Akko, the Cavendish family is known for its exceptional healing magic, drawing blood is no big feat. Now, if you could please take a seat so I can start your screening?” Diana said, gesturing to the chair beside her. 

Suddenly Akko’s nerves flooded in like a tsunami, forcing her to freeze up and still her breath, which, unfortunately for Akko, Diana noticed.

“kko? Akko? Are you okay?” Diana asked, concern washing over her features.

“Y-yeah I’m fine. Just not a big fan of needles.” Akko admitted quietly, a slight blush spreading throughout her cheeks. She hadn’t really told anyone, being scared of such a small thing seemed childish. Childish even for Akko. And now she was admitting it to Diana.

Diana was caught off guard, barely catching the giggle sprouting from her throat. Nevertheless a small squeak escaped Diana’s lips, catching Akko’s ears. 

“You’re laughing aren't you?” Akko says with a pout, crossing her arms and facing herself the other way. Akko knew this was a mistake, the free t-shirt was not worth the embarrassment. 

“You did this for the free t-shirt?” Diana asked inquisitively, gathering the necessary materials to check Akko’s blood pressure and temperature. 

“You heard that? And yeah, what about it?” Akko says with a huff, turning slightly red once again. How did Diana hear what I was thinking? Akko thought, scratching her head. 

“I’m not listening to your thoughts, you’re speaking out loud. Now please, give me your arm. I must check your blood pressure.” Akko shoves her arm in Diana’s face, earning a grunt from the taller blonde.

Diana wrapped her hand around Akko’s bicep to put the wrap on and gasped. Although the girl didn’t look it, Akko was strong and buff apparently. Well, Diana had known the girl’s thighs were toned, having been (given) forced to the constant (holy) sight of Akko’s skirt being much too short for the school’s regulations (not that Diana had much to say, hers leaned over to the shorter side as well). Diana squeezed, leaving Akko to let out a small “Eeek!” which caused Diana to quickly let go, muttering apologies while grabbing the wrap. 

Once the wrap was securely around Akko’s bicep, Diana asked Akko to open her mouth. Akko complied, and crossed her eyes to follow the stick Diana was putting under the tongue inside. It made her dizzy for a couple of seconds, but seeing the slight movement of Diana trying not to smile made it worth it. 

While the wrap around her arm was tightening, Akko decided to take a peek at the students donating.

And immediately regretted it.

Amanda’s face was screwed in pain, her fists white around the arm rests of the chair. Her face looked to match the underside of her hair, which was caked in sweat. Akko whipped her head around to face Diana, who had a perplexed expression on her face. 

"Is.... is everything alright Akko?" Diana asked in a surprisingly timid voice, placing a hand on Akko’s bare knee. 

"Y'know giving blood reminds me of vampires and stuff." Akko says out of thin air. Diana expression grows into one of horror. 

"Y-you don't do that do you?" Diana asked with a serious expression, her eyebrows scrunched with worry, confusion, or dread. Or maybe a mix of all three, Akko couldn’t tell. 

"Do what?" Akko asked, seemingly perplexed. 

"D-drink blood." Diana says in another quiet, meek voice. Akko gasps at this, coughing and thumping her chest to muster a response out. 

"Of course not, though it might help explain my red eyes." Akko says with a laugh, before regretting the joke entirely as Diana's eyes widened in fear once again.

"S-so you are! I thought they had gone extinct. I must admit, I had my suspicions but- " the rest of Diana's sentence was cut short but Akko's hand. 

"Of course not, though I know some people are into things like that." Akko says with a thoughtful expression. "There are people who like to do it like vampires, straight from the source or there's something called blood play." Akko finishes, observing the wide range of emotions flickering on Diana's face as she removed the wrap on Akko’s arm. 

"S-so people actually," Diana leaned in close to Akko's ear to whisper, "d-drink blood? For s-sexual purposes?" Diana finishes with a stutter. 

Akko simply nods her head, "Yeah, that's not all of it though, there's other weird stuff like golden showers and eating others,” Akko leans in closer, towards Diana’s ear, “y’know, shit.”

Diana gasped, her mouth open, her face stuck in a horrified expression, her eyes unblinking and glazed. “Y-you should know not to use that sort of language Miss. Kagari.” Diana says with a stutter, her face gradually glowing a deeper crimson by the second. 

“Oh, sorry Diana, but for some reason I just keep saying whatever I think, like I physically can’t stop and I’d just like to say that you have really pretty eyes.” Akko rambles before clamping a hand over her mouth in embarrassment. 

“I-I see,” Diana says as she picks up disinfectant, “and this is something you cannot stop, you say?” 

Akko nods, not trusting herself to open her mouth again. Diana gingerly picks up Akko’s hand, and singles out Akko’s middle finger to swipe the disinfectant pad on the tip of Akko’s middle finger. Before Akko can stop herself, she blurts out the first thought to come to mind, literally.

“I’d always imagine you getting my fingers wet, but not like this.”

Akko slapped her hand over her mouth so violently that her head hit the concrete wall she was placed in front of. Which left Diana to leave her flustered state to make sure Akko was okay, with a blush covering her face nevertheless. 

“Are you okay? You hit your head pretty hard, it sounded like it hurt. Do you need an ice pack?” Diana asked rapidly, not giving Akko a chance to properly answer all the questions thrown at her. 

“Y-yeah I’m fine, just a bump.” Akko says in a flustered tone, looking down at her shoes in embarrassment. “I’m, ah, sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean to, it just came out.”

Diana just nodded and picked up the pricking device, deciding to ignore what Akko had admitted. 

“Now, please stay still, I do not want to have to poke you twice.” Akko held her breath as Diana prepared to prick her finger, squeezing her eyes closed and holding her breath in anticipation. Diana noticed this and placed a comforting hand on Akko’s wrist. Akko opened one of her eyes to look at Diana questioningly, quirking up an eyebrow as if to say “what?”

“It’ll be okay, it’s only a small prick,” Diana says comfortingly. 

“But what if it hurts?” Akko says in a small voice, her face morphing into a pout. 

“Well of course it’s going to hurt. But you’re Akko. Surely a small prick wouldn’t be enough to defeat you.” Diana exclaims in the most inspirational voice she can muster.

Akko’s face forms a smile at those words. “Yeah! You’re right, I’m Akko! Nothing can def- AH FUCK THAT HURT.” Rang out throughout the hall, causing all heads to turn towards the pair. 

“Akko, please refrain from using that language.” Diana said, giving Akko a look that could melt steel. 

“Diana, why didn’t you give me any warnings.” Akko whined, sending back an equally devastating stare (in which Diana thought was quite cute, and not at all threatening).

“Because, Akko, I had a feeling you would’ve jerked your finger away, creating an even bigger mess than you just made. Now, please allow me to gather what little blood came from the miniscule prick I made.” Diana said in a mocking voice, causing Akko to form a pout, once again. 

“Whatever,” Akko grumbled, “Just hurry up and tell me if I can donate or not.”

Diana sighed. “It will take a while to process, please be seated in the waiting area. I will call when it's ready.” Diana gestures to the few open seats near the snack area. 

Diana then turned to do the tests, leaving Akko to take the hint and stalk off to the waiting area.  
_____________________________

“Akko, the results are about done.” 

Akko jumped at the sound of Diana’s voice, startling her enough to drop the carrot Chariot she had been crafting. Akko glances at her fallen hero (literally) with a pout, before being pushed towards Diana by Stanbot, who was annoyed over Akko dropping food on the ground. 

For the fourth time.

Akko finally managed to make it to Diana, who was still bent over in concentration. 

“So,” Akko started, “Can I donate or not?” 

Diana looked up, glancing at Akko quickly before going back to her work. 

Rude, Akko thought, shaking her head. She took a couple glances around before hearing Diana speak. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to seem rude, I’m simply trying to get done with yours so I can move onto a different donor.” Diana said, still not looking up. 

Is she reading my thoughts? I know I didn’t say that aloud this time, Akko thought, mulling over it in her head. Or so she thought. 

“Akko, once again, I’m not reading your mind, you’re speaking aloud. Now please, let me concentrate on this.” Diana said in a frustrated voice, running a hand through her hair, a motion in which Akko followed closely.

Oh, how I’d love to be the one to run my fingers through that hair, Akko thought. Well she thought she had thought. Yeah, thought she had thought that she had thought- okay it works.

Diana’s face grew red, incredibly red. “Y-your results are r-ready Akko.” She said, trying her absolute best to ignore what Akko had just muttered. 

Akko was confused as to why Diana was stuttering. Until she remembered what she had just said in her mind. 

“I didn’t uh,” Akko asked, “say that aloud did I?” Diana nodded, using her hair as a useful disguise for her red face. 

“A-ah pretend I didn’t say that. Please. Let’s just look at my results, okay?” Akko says, almost begging to defuse the embarrassing situation for the both of them. 

Diana silently nods, “Of course, here they are,” Diana says, opening the lid to the analyzer and copying down the results. 

“It seems you cannot donate Akko. You have an iron count of 12.3, and to donate you need a 12.5.”

Akko’s mouth drops open, in either disbelief, disappointment, or gratitude, Diana couldn’t tell. “If you’d like, I can check your other finger on your right hand, it may produce different results.”

Akko thought for a moment, seemingly deciding on whether or not to give up on the donating blood fiasco. “No, I’m alright. I don’t think I could handle the whole “keeping a needle in your arm for 10 whole minutes” thing,” Akko pauses, thinking about what to say next, “much less actually putting the needle in my skin.”

Diana sighed, and began to clean up the equipment. “I suppose it can’t be helped, if you don’t wish to donate then I cannot force it upon you. Please, gather your belongings and inform Hannah and Barbara of what occurred.” Diana said, whooshing Akko away with a flick on her wrist. 

Akko grumbled before picking up Shiny Rod and her wand, and began to walk away. “Oh and Akko,” Diana started, causing Akko to turn around and face Diana, “please be wary of what you say, especially about wanting to run your fingers through my hair. It’s upkeep requires quite a bit of effort, you wouldn’t want to mess it up now would you?” Diana finished with a smirk, already turning back to her work, leaving Akko flustered and stuttering. 

“U-uh yeah of course, I’ll leave you to it Diana,” Akko somehow managed to stutter out, waving her hand quickly before turning towards the sign-out. Before she reached the sign-out desk, Akko, for some reason, called out, “I’ll be sure to drink some blood on my way out!”

All Diana could do was facepalm.  
_____________________________

“We heard you couldn’t donate Akko,” Hannah sneered as Akko walked up to the desk, “which makes sense, knowing you,” Barbara added, both laughing haughtily. 

If thing #1 and thing #2 don’t shut up I’m gonna- Akko’s thoughts were interrupted by both Hannah and Barbara gasping. But at that point, Akko thought, walking away from the still gasping girls, she couldn’t care less. She even stopped questioning how others were reading her thoughts. Akko just wanted her free t-shirt.  
__________________________

After that horrific and embarrassing incident, not to mention the snooty laughter from both Hannah and Barbara, Akko learned she wasn’t allowed the free t-shirt. 

“It’s not my fault that I don’t have enough metal in my body, professor Ursula, it’s not fair,” Akko whined to the flustered professor, who honestly wasn’t paying much attention to the whining student. She did have a good reason of course, a fellow student had passed out after giving blood, leaving it up to Ursula to calm down the rest of the students while she was being wheeled away. 

“Akko, that’s not how it works- but I’m sorry, rules are rules, you were not able to donate so we’re not able to give you the free t-shirt. Now, if you could please excuse me, I must take care of something,” the stressed out professor said, quickly leaving both the conversation and Akko. 

Akko continued to pout for some time, but gave up, seeing as no one was paying any attention with all the commotion happening. She turned and left, hoping to catch up to Sucy, and ask about how people were reading her mind.  
__________________________

“Well of course, it wasn’t an actual “health” potion, what do you take me as? A doctor?”

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me for I have sinned


End file.
